Seriously, I just….I just…so amazing….we…he’s gonna….LESTAT.

Words do not describe how amazing this could possibly be.
RDJ: stay off drugs! We all love you so much!!!! You are so awesome!!!

Article from io9 here.

Also, apparently Anne Rice agrees with me that this would be awesome.

And you know what Tom Cruise? You can go suck L. Ron Hubbard’s dick, you prick. ROCK ON RDJ!!!

Okay, so now the speculation has to begin. Who would be the perfect Louis to RDJ’s Lestat? Requirements:
-adorable
-sexy
-incredible sexual tension between him and RDJ

hurm…I’m thinking…Paul Beattny? Eh I really have no idea. Thoughts?

Discovered this article yesterday and didn’t have time to post it. Ended up dreaming about a movie where these two main guys are fighting a gov’t conspiracy together. I guess I better post it before my subconscious eats me (Samuel L. Jackson was also there for some reason…I guess he stars in every movie, even dream ones.)

So this article here from io9 presents some fascinating comparisons between Moon and District 9, basically the two good – and crazy low budget – SciFi movies this summer. The tag line of the article reads “What do they have in common? More than you might think”, and it honestly was more than I had thought. I mean, I hadn’t done a full blow comparison, but I had vaguely thought about which one I liked better and such.

Main points of the article (but if you’ve seen the movies seriously go read it, it’s fascinating)(and obviously spoilers ahead):

-The little guy. Wage jockey, not necessarily likeable, fighting against something way bigger than him. Okay, that’s a pretty normal thing to have in common. But wait, there’s more!

-The heath crisis. Ah! That’s one I didn’t think of! Both of these protagonists end up getting all bloody and totally gross looking.

-Evil Corporation. Okay, yeah, duh, no biggie.

-The twisted biotech. Ah, okay, that’s pretty good. B/c Sam Rockwell is a clone, and then Wikus (D9) ends up almost getting all dissected by MNU b/c they want his DNA/hand.

-Uneasy partnership. Sam Rockwell and Gertie (^.^ much smiles and warm feelings about those two) and then Wikus and Christopher (oh my gosh Christopher and your son I love you!!!!)

-The daring escape: Ahhh that’s cool. Both protagonists run away, and it ends sadly. Wikus ends up being a prawn (er…what’s the non-derogatory word?) and having to wait on Chris. Sam Rockwell escapes from the evil corporation, but also dies. So suxors on that end.

In summary, in the words of io9:

So to summarize: You’re a tool of the man, your work will make you sick and your employer will try to screw you over, and in fact your employer will take the earliest opportunity to experiment on you in sick, sadistic ways. Your only hope is to team up with other people who are stuck in the shit with you, no matter how different from you they are, and maybe then you can make an ambiguously dirty getaway.

Check out here for more information.

Wow. Just check out that pic. That’s Mark Twain in the foreground, Tesla in the background, hanging out in Tesla’s lab.

That’s like….freaking…Steve Jobs and….I dunno….Ray Bradbury hanging out today (yeah, he’s still alive, I double-checked). Hanging out, and riding around on Branson’s space ship.

Disclaimer: This is not going to be a comprehensive review, just a few specific observations.

First of all: yes. It was an excellent GI Joe movie. Was it the next Citizen Cain? No, duh. But that’s not what it was supposed to be. GI Joe was supposed to be a ton of fun, that made us look back fondly on our childhood spent killing each other with our action figures. And that was totally what the movie was.
Was it Transformers? No, it was way better than Transformers.

Pros:

-They said “knowing is half the battle”; twice.
-They said “real American heroes”; twice.
-They said “Go Joe” ad nauseum.
-The Baroness was so hot and cool.
-I’LL GET YOU NEXT TIME GADGE-…er….GI JOE!!!
-No seriously, Cobra, gAHHHHH greatest supervillian reveal evar.
-Destro!! woooo!!!
-They actually kept going with their crazy plot at the very end and “wrapped it up”.
-Super jail!
-Technology that makes more sense than the stuff in 2012. Nanbots, Exoskeletons, etc. Basically, most the tech we saw was real tech the military has, just, you know…it worked. Even the inviso-suits were what the army is working on.
-Also, white ninja = super hot = had his shirt off in his final battle with black ninja. Yummers.

Cons:

-Hollywood, come here. Me and Sigourney Weaver want to have a talk with you about female action heroes. Yes, they do exist. No, they do not need to be brainwashed by men or changed by men. Stop doing that.

<img src="http://snarkerati.com/movie-news/files/2008/04/sigourney-weaver-aliens.jpg" alt="kick your ass…” />

What that is relevant to: The girl Joe, whatever her name was, was basically an automotan at the beginning of the movie. But she was the best in the group. Then, black joe (dude, I don’t know there names, don’t call me racist or sexist), falls for her, and suddenly she becomes all emotional. Like, after a battle at the end, she literally said that she felt “emotional”. Gagk. Hollywood, me and Sigorney Weaver would like to introduce you to all the women serving in Iraq and Afghanistan right now. We’ll just wait over here while they kick your asses.

Other example of this:

Baroness!! (Spoilers ahead)

I. Love. The Baroness. She was definitely the best part of the cartoon when I was a kid, and she was almost the best part of this movie. But what do we find out about her super-evilness at the end? SHE’S BEEN BRAINWASHED BY COBRA (her brother, apparently), AND WASN’T EVIL AT ALL!
BULLSHIT HOLLYWOOD!!! What, a chick can’t be evil if she wants to?! Fuck you Hollywood, fuck you!!!!!
…
…
Okay, I’m back. I just had to go off and hug my Baroness posters/dolls. Anyway, so that was really my only two complaints about the movie.

Random Observations:

Brenden Frasier made a cameo. Which is odd enough in itself, but made even odder when I realized that the Mummy was on Cobra’s team. Weird, right?!

Overall:

2 thumbs up, a rip-roaring good time, and actually had a basic plot which made some sense, using tech that made some sort of sense. Alright!! Go Joe!

Major points:
10 inches
2 versions: webcam use, education use (wooohoo!!)
$700-$900
Launching this holiday season.

WOoooooo!!!! Education device! Relatively affordable!!! Oh man, if I get a stipend from grad school I SO know what I’m spending it on!!

Opinion under the cut

-So happy to see Sam Jackson back as Nick Fury.
-RDJ is still awesome and fantastic and snarky and awesome.
-”High-tech prosthesis” yukyukyuk
-A lot of the scenes seem pretty unfinished still, but whatever, that’s okay. The movie is another year away, after all.
-I do find it a little unrealistic that the U.S. government would ask Tony for the weapon back, and not just take it.
-Mickey Rourke’s character seems really cool and more developed than I would have thought at first, so that’s great. My favorite parts of the first movie were just RDJ fiddling around in his garage, so I’m glad to see they keep up that “home-brewed tech” theme going with Rourke
-AHYEAH. That split second shot of Sam Rockwell wandering around looking fucking fantastic made my day. He is so damn twitchy-cool.
-Boooo action scenes. Haha. No seriously, I mean, the action sequences were actually probably the most boring part of the first movie. Though it does appear the scenes take up about the same percentage of the second movie as the first – 2%.
-Ahh more Sam Rockwell! Oh gosh lollypops. So cool. So fucking cool.
-Aw dang Rhodie, you might be cooler than RDJ! Yeah right, just kidding. We all know it’s not the suit that makes the man. *nudge nudge wink wink*

Overall opinion: SWEET. ROCK ON.